i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
