But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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