I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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