The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
