I wanna bring you to show and tell
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize