I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
