in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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