Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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