Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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