Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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