She is in my trunk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
