So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
