Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
