yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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