Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
and you said cock pushups were impossible
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
