There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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