Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
