dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
