Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
