I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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