That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
