saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
