Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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