super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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