Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
