But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
