I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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