Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
