we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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