there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i now understand why vodka
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
