he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
