While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
