just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
