I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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