I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
