she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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