I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
