It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
