i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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