Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fuuuuuck hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.

Fav 52 6843 3886
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

Fav 3 1093 2145
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(830): View more from Texas

No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her

Fav 11 2508 855
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.

Fav 4 1941 716
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

Fav 4 1040 614
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value

Fav 3 1221 624
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something

Fav 1 670 487
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

I think he fucked my hip out of place.

Fav 1 55 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.

Fav 0 48 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT