My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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