is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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