Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
