Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
