You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
