I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
