This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
