So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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