cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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