Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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