Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
