One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize