Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
