then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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