At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
