Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
