and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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