so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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