Your face is a jimmy john
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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