the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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