the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
