I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My cat gives me a boner
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
and you fell through a lawn chair
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
